I read today anger is a funnel

have to wonder if there’s truth to the idea—
I work backwards for x. 
I beat my fists on the countertop
to feel the pain in me beyond—
this x is guilt.
I blow through three stop signs
call them suggestions and heed no other—
solution for x as loneliness. 
I ate unfinished frozen foods
too young to understand preheating—
x as a result of neglect. 
I sleep five, six hours every night since she died
survivor’s guilt as hunger, too, is mythicized —
x loses the will to live.