Where I Find Simple Math Useful
Let’s say you have kid and that kid rearranges who you are–once there was a boy and now there is still a boy but also the idea of a man. Let’s say your father tells you that a kid is a baby goat and you don’t disagree with him. Let’s say you nearly die in Ecuador and you come home a month early because already this baby goat has been a baby goat for six months and was a baby goat for two months before anyone ever even knew about it. Fucking baby goats. And now let’s say you had from the moment it was born into this world approximately eighteen years before it was a full grown goat. And that’s roughly six thousand five hundred and seventy days and the man you want to be to this baby goat is the kind that’s there every single one of those days because your own father was not but still somehow thinks that it is important not to call your unborn child a kid because a kid is a baby goat and not a human being. And let’s say that now there’s a timeshare agreement that says you’ll only be there for your kid half of that time or three thousand two hundred and eighty five days or out of every year only one hundred and eighty two point five days and it’s not like on those days you will be more the man you want to be for not having been there on the others–you’ll still be distracted and hate doll play and burn the waffles and be frustrated with your baby goat for not listening. Let’s say you’ll never be the man you want to be and you don’t know what to call yourself now and math can’t help you with that but it can prove it to be true in its own cold way.
18 thoughts on "Where I Find Simple Math Useful"
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fucking baby goats!
Christopher…
You know I get this. Felt far too deeply, sir. Far too deeply. And grows my heart two sizes to hear another man say it.
❤ incredible.
Same, I feel just the same.
Math is a bitch.
Fresh
Good work ! I feel this one.
Brilliant poem
I hear your heartbreak. You are one of the best fathers. Your attention and love for your daughter is in the conversations you post, in the love and amazement you share. You are still a strong man, and the grass you fed that baby goat is the sweetest.<3
Yes.
I really do understand. This is heart felt.
“How the hell could a person go to work in the morning/and come home in the evening/ and have nothing to say”…to the baby goat? Not all there is there, even half-there
You did put the quote marks but neglected to mention John Prine by name so I’m doing it here. Just house keeping. This poem is very powerful and particularly meaningful to me. I do hope Chris does not have the degree of heartbreak that came with time for me. I still cannot write about it.
these words break me in half
With so many fathers in the world that could care less about being with their baby goats, it makes no sense that a father who is so devoted to raising and being there for his kid and who comes home every single day to be with his family should suddenly wake up one day to find his kid snatched right out of his loving arms without warning and to discover that he will no longer get to be with his kid every day. My heart hurts cause your heart hurt is hurting. Sometimes life sucks and there is nothing we can do about it.
As a widower I have been there, done that, and still face my kids every day if only long distance.
Powerful. A poem to stay with me.
Chris, you take us there.