You in June
The storm seized us unaware.
One minute the fish were biting our lures of corn,
the next the drench descended
like Zeus unleashed, pelting
little thunderbolts of sting our way.
We grabbed the gear and sprinted for shelter,
ducking beneath a thick limestone ledge,
shaking off the wet like unmannered mutts.
The fish left behind: our lamented legends.
We settled on the dirt floor
and witnessed the spitting hardness
play rough with leaves and limbs,
ricochet off standing rocks.
Fear latched onto our senses
like an unwanted diagnosis.
Suddenly a deafening deluge
of backed up water surged over
the rock ledge trapping us behind.
The waterfall so unexpected
we could do nothing but marvel
at the dazzling miracle before us.
When I heard you were gone,
I wandered for awhile
in that time wrinkle:
your eyes crazy with wonder,
your laughter cascading.
16 thoughts on "You in June"
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Poignant ending. Loved this. Lots of music carrying the verse, and these lines “the next the drench descended like Zeus unleashed, pelting little thunderbolts of sting our way.” so evocative – finally “I wandered for awhile in that time wrinkle: your eyes crazy with wonder, your laughter cascading.” swoon. ❤️
Sylvia, this captured moment is gorgeous and so detailed as to bring us thoroughly into the moment. You give us a window into how a sweet memory can combat loss. <3 Love, love, love it!
Gorgeous. I love the “thunderbolt of sting” you send our way in the final stanza. A memory and a feeling beautifully framed.
What a tribute to the experience – I could hear that rain! – and a lovely ending of cascading laughter.
This poem fully renders the scene and invites us into the moment so well. I especially enjoyed the lines “The fish left behind: our lamented legends.” and “Fear latched onto our senses/like an unwanted diagnosis.”
I very much enjoyed this!
That ending was such a dizzying “turn” from the scene you’d described before…
The shift to sadness and back to laughter knocking me off my feet.
beautiful
I love the surprise of the waterfall! How wonderful to have that intimate moment of wonder to conjure up and wander around in! Just a breathtaking poem!
Gorgeous.
Great verbs, images
Thank you all so much for your comments!
This vivid scene connected to the person who you have learned is gone. The waterfall of life connected to the waterfall of death
So many great lines.
shaking off the wet like unmannered mutts.
Love it.
One of your best! I, too, especially liked the unmannered mutts.
This begs to be read over and over. Beautiful use of alliteration and rhythm. The movement of the moment, and the scene painted with details. But that last verse, which parallels with the waterfall, and stopping the image using time wrinkle is so full of emotion. Nice ‘unwanted diagnosis’ foreshadowing, too. Lots to unpack with this.